Children are such a heavenly blessing, even the Gods can’t withstand. It can make a person go from a tragic to the gladdest. And when it comes to your own child, nothing in the entire world pleasures more than seeing them joyous and happy. Such is the delicacy and purity of a parent-child relationship that even a single scratch on his body, bruises your soul throughout. Then what about their entire life worries? How’d you protect them from the numerous bittersweet incidents of his life? Tougher one, huh!
What do you think matters most to your children? The school-taught lessons and practices, or is it the smile and hug you greet him with after school? I go on for the second one.
It’s the small things that the parents do, that mean the most to the kids.
Following are some of the acquisitions, I’d like to gift to my children:
(I don’t have a young one yet, so the following hypothesis is as per a spectator’s perception and being a kid myself)
1. Give his Potentialities, a chance
What’s your response when your nestling strikes xyz and falls down the ground? Do you rush to pull him up? Or leave him down, lying there? Of course, it’s a silly question. Of course, you’ll break away to lift him up.
However, all fair it may seem to, it isn’t the best always. Stand back and let him handle challenging tasks on his own. Your tot will take risks and learn new things and grow up better equipped to face obstacles rather than retreat at the first sign of adversity.
Also, let your child know that things may not always work out at first, but he got to have faith in his capabilities until he finally succeeds. Instruct him that making mistakes is fine; it's also one of the best ways to learn.
It may seem quite ironic, but don’t always compliment and pat on his back. At times, letting him stay rooted to ground is the better option. Words like “You did a great job”, “You’re the best”, “You are a charming prince” tend to have a negative influence on him. Flattery undermines ambition because when we tell kids they are naturally good at things, we are telling them they don’t need to work hard to be good at it. Leave room for constructive criticism as well. After all, it’s the parents, who got to counterpoise their life on the right track.
2. Share your values.
What do you emphasize to your children? Scholarships? Degrees? Sports? Awards?
Which is more important? Accumulating big bucks of wealth or is it morals like forgiveness and compassion?
“Not all of my immature wishes were consummated. Not all the playthings I sobbed for, were bought. I didn’t get a good smartphone for years. I was the one liable for every mistake I committed. And maybe, that’s the reason, I’m HERE today.” – Arish Dhawan
The best thing I learnt from my dad is not to fulfil each and every desire of kids if you want them to respect the actual worth of things. Inculcate in your kid a sense of kindness, tolerance, responsibility, honesty, and persistence and what value they hold in the expansion of a true human being. Teach him what real wealth is. But, the key is not just to talk about them but to live them. When you're watching TV together, point out how a character embodies a positive trait.
Be a role model. Your child learns to cope with challenges and disappointments by watching how you do it. Speak to him in the same respectful manner you'd talk to a friend or a co-worker. If you do that, he'll be far more likely to listen, and feel comfortable coming to you for help or guidance.
3. Nurture your Relationship
Have you ever thought, “I want to give my children every opportunity I did not get.”? However this thought may seem good, but what if they just wished for more time to play? Children are incredibly wise and tend to see the world more simply than we do. So, before loading anything, look for what they enjoy most and what makes their hearts the happiest.
Try to see things from your child's perspective. If they lose something, show them that you get how it feels rather than just saying, "Calm down. It's got to be here somewhere". Don’t be annoyed that they are overreacting. You may say something like, “Let find it together. Ask Ironman if he saw it”, or something even sillier.
Every night, go to his bedroom, tuck him under a blanket and sing him a kiddie lullaby. Also tell him stories about your life when you were of his age. At dinner, talk about what you could do together on the weekend and at times, watch your favourite TV show together.
All they need is you’re a fraction of your affection and moments of your daily routine, more than any other material gift in the world.
4. Ethics above all
“Teaching them to count is fine But teaching them what counts is best”
Encourage your kid to always do the right thing and raise him for greatness, not success. As parents, you are the ones responsible to teach them Morality. But just teaching does not guarantee child will always make the right choice. He may still make many of his own decisions, obviously wrong ones at times. But when we teach children to go for the right always, with patience, grace, and love, they at least would have been taught the principle to make personal, wise decisions and that gives them a head start in recognizing when something is obviously the wrong choice, rather than what makes them feel good or right in their eyes.
You need to be a role model too. If you want your kid to be honest, don't let him catch you making up an excuse to your co-worker for not going to the office with an excuse of some emergency, when you were there lying at your bed, having snacks with coffee and watching football. What values would he learn if he sees you being dishonest for crappy little issues.
5. Give them Unconditional Love
Perhaps, no other gift or quality is more divine than this one. Children must be evinced that they are truly loved and accepted by their parents. They n
eed to hear, see, know, and feel that no matter what they do, they’ll always be loved without conditions.
Give them the kind that lasts from their birth, until your death. Give them hugs and kisses, sit and have private conversations. The children who feel cherished by their parents tend to be more secure and self-confident than those who don't. Kids have a universal need to feel loved. A habit of saying "I love you" every day when your child leaves for school and goes to bed is fair enough start. Wrap yourself and your child in a blanket on a cool evening as you read together. Tickle them awake in the morning, and cuddle on the couch in the evening. Make it a routine to make them feel loved and blessed by “The best parents of the world”.
This post is dedicated to my Love, my Niece, SAHIRA. Love you lots, Mitthe <3 <3